You jumped the Ship

you jumped ship.

I started thinking yesterday in the shower, yes i am sad about this break-up, but now, i am getting mad.

I could have easily broke up with you, when you went to jail, when you went on a drug run, and had to take all the pills so the police wouldn't arrest you, when on your birthday you took acid. I could have easily dumped you when you where out of work for awhile, when you felt you had nothing to offer me. I could have easily dumped you when you didnt go to my grandfathers funeral with me, when all my friends where expecting to meet you at Kelly's birthday party, when i had to walk in by myself, and that crazy adam guy tried to hit me in the face.

I could have easily walked away when we started fighting, when i just wanted to spend some alone time with you. When i would ask you not to smoke weed anymore, when i would say you could work at Burger king and i wouldn't care. I could have walked away when you where depressed because you felt like you had nothing, and where nothing.

Instead, I supported you, told you how wonderful you where, how i loved you more than anything, how things where going to look up in the future. That i would never leave you because i love you. I never called you names, never put you down, never hit you, never cheated on you. and when you chips where down, i did nothing but try and bring you up.


But, you... you walked away. when things got hard on my end, you just walked away without a second thought. that is not love. All the stuff you put me through, and i stood by your side, and the second things got hard on my end, you bailed.

Did you ever really love me? You say now that i am not good enough for you, well you are not good enough for me! I deserve better...

The fact that you could move on so quickly, shows that you never cared, that i never mattered to you. and in fact it makes me feel used.

Everyone in your family thinks you are playing by the rules now, that you have straightened up your act, i bet they don't know that we where still sleeping together up until 2 weeks ago, or that you where drinking in their house, and i would hide all the beer for you in my trunk, or that you are still smoking when you go repoing.

I have never put you down, or made you feel the way you make me feel now. I feel at my lowest of lows. How dare you just walk away like that...

One day, you are going to realize this was the biggest mistake of your life. Every girlfriend you ever had, took advantage of you, treated you like dirt, cheated on you, controlled you, and i was not like that at all... I did nothing but love you, with my whole heart. I wanted nothing but the best for you and i. Go find some other girl, who is going to use you, and treat you like dirt, who is going to walk all over you, who is going say they love you but really wont.

I have seen you cry, I have seen you at your most vulernable state. I was the one who even after we broke up you where still calling ever day, who you would tell all your problems to, and i just sat there and listened to you, because that is what LOVE is. You say that now that you are trying to get your life together, nobody wants to talk to you, that all your so called friends have disapeared.. well i am still here... I was still there for you... and you continued to walk all over me.


One day you are going to wake up and realize this was the biggest mistake of you life, that you just let me go... and when that day happens, Ill be in his arms, because he'll have already realized what a great person i am.


You act like now that i need to get over us, like you are confused as to why i cant get over you... well, lets see. for the past year we hae done nothing but plan our lives together, looking towards the future, towards what it was going to be like for us. and now... its just you, and just me...

you claim that you have been honest and upfront since we broke up, but no. you wheren't and its more clear than ever now that you where just keeping me along so you could have sex, and the emotional support of a relationship without actually commiting to me. Like i was your backburner girl.

You would say things like we are working on it. that we are just going with the flow, enjoying being with each other. that you dont want to get back together cause you are scared it is going to end up the way it did. That you still care about me, that you still love me. That i am a great person. That who knows in the future what is going to happen with us, that you are trying to focus on you right now, and that you have nothing to offer me. That how can you commit to me, when you cant commit to yourself, you cant be happy with me, because you are not happy with yourself....

in what warped mind does any of that state "I do not want to be with you?" you wonder why i say you are so confusing. because your actions speak one thing, and then sometimes your words agree with your actions.

I am a fool for putting up with this for 2 months. a fool.... and you are the biggest fool of all, because you just lost me. You just lost the best thing to ever happen to you.